Friday, May 13, 2011

I Never Thought I Would Say This

I have a confession to make. And I'm not sure if anyone is going to read this post, or if anyone reads my blog anymore. I know it's frustrating when you're following a blogger and they suddenly stop posting. And I feel like I've really let my readers down (if I even have any anymore), so I thought I would explain the situation.

Blogging used to be a lot of fun, something I would make time out of my busy life to sit down and commit to. Even when it felt like I didn't have time, I made the time because I wanted to.

But back when I started blogging, I was a fairly ordinary boring kid with way too much free time. But now I'm moving on with my life and starting to actually DO things. I joined the track team, I auditioned for jazz choir and made it, I got my first job (lifeguarding!), and I got my own car. All in the last few weeks. Not to mention I'm going to college in a year and have been taking ACT/SAT's, planning visits, and worrying. It's not like I wasn't involved in things like this before- I've taken piano lessons for years, sang in treble choir, and I acted in the Fall school play.

But I'm just starting to focus so much more on my actual life that time to sit down and browse the internet and blogs just doesn't feel valuable to me. It used to be my release from the business of everyday life, but now it feels like it's just something I keep putting off. I procrastinate getting on my blog because I don't have anything to say.

I still LOVE reading though. Reading is still my escape- just maybe blogging isn't so much anymore. I guess I'm also getting sick of blogging making reading feel like such a chore- I have to review ARC's, I get daily review requests.... I guess I'm complaining, aren't I? So pretty much I've completely ignored by blog for the last month. (and my blog email, for the most part. I read it but haven't replied to anything in forever.)

I'm not trying to put down blogging, I just don't think it's something I can follow through with anymore. It's way too much of a chore for me, and I need to make time for the other things going on in my life.

I never thought I would say this, honestly. Up until the recent hiatuses I've been taking, blogging was my passion and escape. But now, I really think I'm just a different person. Nothing better or worse, just different.

I'm not deleting my blog or anything. I don't think I could EVER bring myself to do that. I've put so much hard work into it. And I'm not saying I'm going to stop posting, either. Summer is coming up, and even though I have a job I probably will have more time to read. I hope to continue posting reviews after I finish books because critically thinking about a book is still something I love to do, and that is really the main purpose of this blog.

So I'm not going away! But I am moving on.... I guess this is just an apology, if anyone actually reads it. I just had to say something about the way my life is going right now and the future of my blog, which looks pretty narrow.

But I love all the people I've gotten to know and amazing new things I've learned about the book publishing and writing world! And I won't stop stalking a few of my favorite bloggers because I still love to know what kinds of new books are out there. So even if I lay low on my blog perhaps indefinitely (minus hopefully occasional reviews!), I still have had a great experience and I appreciate if any of you have been there to share it with me or have been one of the MANY bloggers I admire!

10 comments:

  1. I've thought about stopping my blog before but then I would miss the community. I also like to think I can do it all so even though I go to school full time and work 30ish hours a week I feel that I have plenty of time to do it all. So I keep my blog running. It is always good to move onto new things though and I wish you the best with your new adventures. :)

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  2. Lol yeah don't you hate it when you get a life and have to stop bloggin? ;)
    We all understand. Life happens.

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  3. I'm a very busy person myself -- I have two jobs -- so I can relate! However, blogging has been like a new lease on life for me, because I'm not happy with my jobs, and, even more important, I feel creatively frustrated. I wanted to do something else with my life, but things haven't turned out the way I wanted them to. So blogging, for me, has become the one thing, besides reading, of course, that gives meaning to my life. But hey, everyone's different, and I do understand where you're coming from. I also applaud your courage and willingness to admit to feeling the way you do.

    I can only hope you do continue to post, at least to some extent. Although I haven't commented on your blog much thus far, I will tell you that I LOVE your blog! So I would hate it if you stopped posting altogether. But then, you gotta do what you gotta do...

    In my case,I'm worried that, due to my busy life, reading is beginning to take second place to blogging! I have to do something about that.

    I wish you the very best in your new endeavors! I just hope you'll continue to post from time to time, as you said in this latest post. And just remember, we would miss you if you disappeared completely. (Not that I want to lay a guilt trip on you or anything. Lol.)

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  4. It's completely understandable that you're much busier now-- I like what Must Love Books said about getting a life, lol. It is at least partly true. I do love your blog (feel like we're a lot alike in the kind of books we like!), and will miss your posts.

    But I wish you all the best in everything you do, and especially when it comes to getting ready for college! I'll be going away after senior year myself, and know I will probably be facing a lot of the same dilemmas when it comes to school vs blogging. Just know that if and when you do want to post reviews or anything else, I'll definitely be stopping by to leave you a comment or two. :) Good luck with everything, Ava, and Happy Reading!

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  5. Well, life happens.
    I'll still read you posts whenever they turn up. The nice thing when you follow someone using a feed-reader is that whenever they post something new it turns up, otherwise the blog just sits there in the background, not being noticed and not taking up time.
    I certainly hope that you find time for the odd review, and that you let your blog bend to your will, not you to its.
    Best of luck.

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  6. Never apologize for your life away from the computer screen. That's the one that really matters. ;)

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  7. Thanks, guys for the comments. I hope you understand this was a really hard thing for me to do and it means a lot knowing people still read my blog even though I've been so inactive recently! And I promise I'll keep posting occasionally. ;)

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  8. I stopped blogging in Jan because I went back to school. I plan on blogging this summer but once school starts up again I probably won't! I understand what your going through. I loved blogging when I started it but I was also not doing much else with my life at the time. I procrastinate as well and kind of miss reading to just well, read. But I think I can do it for summers and vacations at least. I will read your posts when you do post the ocassional review! And congrats on your car, job, and everything else!

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  9. I understand where you're coming from. I'm a teen too and things can get really insane when you start doing a bunch of things. I love your blog and I'm going to miss you! But I'm glad that you had the chance to experience blogging and the book blogospere! Who knows, you might come back some day :)

    ~Alison

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  10. I totally understand what you mean, and thanks for putting it in this post! I could have never of said it this good. I don't think I'll blog next school year...it feels like work. I don't want it to be work.

    If you can't make time for the blog, then it's ok. Life is so much more important.

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Thanks for the comments! I read every single one and try to reply, either on your blog or another comment! They make my day!

As of 1/17/11, Book Infinity is an awards-free blog. My schedule is busy as could be, and I don't have time to follow all the rules to pass them on. But I really do appreciate the thought, thanks so much for thinking about me!